There’s this lyric in Big L’s “Da Graveyard” where the rapper talks about filling some dudes up with so much lead that they can “use they dick for a pencil.” You know, like click, clack. Good lyric. But it turns out that Big L was not the first to think about using one’s tool as a tool. (Too easy!) Apparently there’s a dude who’s the most famous “penile artist” in the world and his name’s Pricasso (well, Tim Patch). Yes, that’s right folks, he uses his dick as a paint brush. Whoa! And he performs if you rent him! He even once gave a portrait to Hugh Hefner himself. Check out his personal website for yourself (which is accented with a lot of magenta and purple!!!!). There are hours to be had looking through his photo galleries.
Oh my god: Is it possible that Tim Patch is the greatest artist alive?
Alternative ending: Is it possible that Timothy Patch is the long-lost brother of Timothy Treadwell (the guy from Grizzly Man)?
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Jessica Carroll is the Toronto Standard’s “Best Thing on the Internet Today” columnist. Follow her on Twitter at @jssckr.
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Big-ups to my friend Carlyn for bringing this to my attention.