A series of mini-dramas based on public conversations, as overheard and rewritten by local playwright/director Aurora Stewart de Peña.

Overheard at the Brass Taps

Miles, Jacob and Rob sit at the bar. They all wear jeans. Jackets made of polar fleece and waterproofed nylon hang on the back of their chairs. They drink Molson Stock Ale.

Miles: It’s just regular out. It’s not even that crazy, so whatever, everybody shut up.

Jacob: No, but dude, there’s going to be a tsunami in BC.

Miles: No, there isn’t, relax.

Miles takes a long drink of his beer.

We don’t get tsunamis in Canada.

Rob: Dude, you can get a tsunami wherever there’s an ocean.

Miles: No, you can’t.

Jacob: Yes, you can.

Miles: No, they happen in Asia and Africa, it has to be somewhere hot.

People are overreacting.

It’s just going to be kind of wet.

Okay, fine, maybe really wet, and then we’ll stay in, drink beer, watch some porn on the internet, and forget about it in two days.

You really think a giant wave hurricane is going to come crashing over the shores of the city and destroy us all? Fine, think that, but you’re worrying about nothing.

We don’t get shit like that. We get a snowstorm about once every ten years and they call in the army to shovel our snow. It’s going to be fine.

We don’t get tsunamis in Canada.

Jacob: Dude, it’s just wherever there’s an ocean.

Miles: Oh my God. I’m going to wring your neck if you don’t shut up.

Rob: I’m hungry. Would you guys want nachos if I got them?

____

Aurora Stewart de Peña is half of the theatre company Birdtown & Swanville (the other half is Nika Mistruzzi). You can follow her on Twitter at @Aurorahhh.

For more, follow us on Twitter at @torontostandard, and subscribe to our newsletter.