When I was a little kid, caught up in the scaly craze that attended Jurassic Park, I decided that I would become a paleontologist. I already had the necessary credentials, like a complete run of Dinosaurs! magazine. My parents eventually explained that studying giant dead monsters is a rather exclusive profession, demanding excellent grades, which made me drift towards marine biology (more cool animals, fewer hurdles) and then, well, this. So when my friend Steph Davidson discovered that the Ontario Reptile Expo was happening yesterday, at Rexdale’s Woodbine Convention Hall, I found the whole concept hilarious, or at least stupidly compelling enough to justify a two-hour round trip. After paying my $8 admission fee, I joined the goth couples, budding nerds and people with neck tattoos, wandering amongst vendors like Tarantula Canada and Python Gurus. Here’s what I saw.
This creature was one’s first sight after entering the room, writhing around in search of a music video.
Snake cascade!
One of them was naked.
For snakes who buy bottle service.
Cool prank: take one of these little guys home (for, like, $300) and then slip their plastic tub into the pre-made salads section at Loblaws.
The chameleon would periodically shoot its tongue out to suck nutrients from that nozzle up there.
The raffle was for this portrait, not its subject, but mounting either one above your bed would be a great way to never have sex again.
WERK IT
The Mist King offerest thee many savings on yon terrarium.
This bird didn’t imitate human speech or anything but he sure did eat a pile of almonds with his feet.
The Hands-On Exotics table also featured a ferret (which ran around for a while before curling up under a blanket to nap), two different species of parrot, and…
…a flamingo, being ludicrously regal.
Superworms, featuring Jeff Goldblum as some scientist.
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Chris Randle is the culture editor at Toronto Standard and resident tarantula enthusiast. Follow him on Twitter at @randlechris.
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