This episode is messy. Gregory asks Rachel for coffee, only to tell her she’s crazy, and that’s in addition to making light of her alleged pill problem. Rachel doesn’t like the interruption to her Caesar-drinking (I think the Avenue actually picked up on this character trait from my season 1 recaps, just saying), and rips up the cheque Greg gave her to pay off her Centrum dealer (or, pay for a car). And after a stressful morning coffee, Greggy collects his thoughts, leaves an apologetic voicemail, attends a party at Airship 37, and goes shopping–for a new nose. 

 

It became apparent to me in this episode that Gregory wants people to know he has money. It’s like he sat down with the The Avenue‘s incredibly untalented script writers and got them to insert mentions of his alleged wealth in this episode. Not only is there a reminder of last episode’s loan, but human rectal leakage Carina (she’s back) spends a fair bit of time itemizing how expensive Gregory’s clothes and accessories are. Sure, she speculates that he must be doing other things–sex, possibly–to buy these items, but the real takeaway is that his shoes and purses cost thousands of dollars. Then there’s the scene where he gets assessed before deciding whether he should get his nose shaved down so his selfies with flash won’t have any awkward shadows. I have no problem believing that Gregory has a bit of partner money from YouTube, but I do have a hard time believing that he is ever modest about it. 

 

The Clarta lesbian thing is still going strong. Greg’s friend Lisa asks Arta about the crush and she bashfully says she doesn’t have one. But, I’m not buying it, since Claire and Arta are going on their first date soon–Claire will be assisting Arta at a Verve Girl casting. I know how dates work on this show, because in season 1 Gregory went on a date, which included discussing his handbag and what’s inside it. So, on The Avenue, dates are terrible, and lesbians don’t scissor, they assist. 

 

But the award for worst acting ever goes to Gregory’s house boyfriend Jay. He finds the nose job pamphlet Greggy brought home from the plastic surgeon’s office, and he is madddddddd. Not only does Jay interrupt Gregory’s gardening time, he is upset with Gregory for not telling him about his plans for an emergency re-sloping. This leads GG to ask Jay why he hasn’t come out yet, and I’m not sure how that is relevant/a thing. Let’s be real, Gregory. You are a gay man who dresses up like a woman, and seems fairly confident doing it. There is NO WAY that your boyfriend is in the closet. And if he is, and let’s say he is, where on Earth did you meet? I am so curious to know where a YouTube partner who makes his money being a public persona finds a closeted boyfriend. I would have to guess it was through an anonymous BBBJTC listing on Craigslist. 

 

Oh, and Rachel has a casting for a “teen magazine,” which will inevitably end up being Verve Girl (to be determined in episode 7). The same Verve Girl Clarta is dating at. I hope the set doesn’t get too wet–with tears. 

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Kevin Naulls is a Toronto-based writer and former editor of The Goods and The Hype at Torontolife.com. Follow him on Twitter @kevinjn.

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