I just want the people who read this weekly recap to know that I have taken pain killers prior to writing this. My wisdom teeth are coming in, and they help. It’s appropriate, because Rachel is allegedly having some terrifying pill problem. I’m kind of like Rachel in the sense that I have consumed a pill before, but not like Rachel because Gregory isn’t giving me ONE LAST CHANCE. That’s right, Rachel has been awarded one final GG chance after he ambushed her at a makeshift intervention with people she didn’t even know last week. He’s not ready to abandon her. Not yet. No, actually, he said that.
What’s hilarious about this episode is GG’s neighbour Shannon plays mentor to Gregory (without wine or candles, if you can believe it), and Mark, some dude who dresses like a girl and claims to be a life coach is planning a party at Greg’s manse (and he wears a Madonna-style headset while planning, because fierrrrrrrrce (or he just got off from his shift at Smart Set)). We are invited into Gregory’s boudoir, where Mark the party planner/life coach is not happy about the idea of having to do a full cavity search for drugs when Rachel arrives, and Gregory is laying with his back arched while some woman does his makeup. It’s basically like the sleepover scene in Grease (or The Sleepover), but this shameless displays of wealth theme has got to stop. I mean, the heart-to-heart by the not-an-Infinity pool, the personal makeup artist and party planner, and Rachel’s post-confrontation debrief with that awful person Carina in Gregory’s expansive wine cellar. It’s all a bit much.
The cherry at the top of this man-girl-boy-girlboy sundae is the fact that Rachel and Carina steal a 2L bottle of wine from his Rosedale wine cellar. A bottle of wine that was already corked. The only white among a sea of red. A planted bottle in a wine cellar that I am getting the distinct impression isn’t his at all. It leads to the second major fight of the season, where boom mics are in plain sight and people sound like the turkeys from South Park. And all of this because Rachel may or may not be doing drugs, and because Gregory just wants to be a good friend?
What’s most upsetting about this episode is Arta’s man candy Patrick gets about 2 seconds of air time. I mean, if you are going to have one smoking hot dude on the show, he should just be in every scene for no reason. I mean, uh, it is just The Avenue.
And total spoiler, but closet case Jay intends to propose next week, so look forward to some incredibly terrible acting (again).
Kevin Naulls is a Toronto-based writer and former editor of The Goods and The Hype at Torontolife.com. Follow him on Twitter @kevinjn.