November 22, 2017
June 21, 2015
#apps4TO Kicks Off + the week in TO innovation and biz:
Microbiz of the Weekend: Pizza Rovente
June 18, 2015
Amy Schumer, and a long winter nap.
October 30, 2014
Vice and Rogers are partnering to bring a Vice TV network to Canada
John Tory gets a parody Twitter account
Sex Criminals: Chip Zdarsky, Matt Fraction and Me
Tiffy Thompson talks awkward sex & time travel with comic artist Chip Zdarsky

When Chip Zdarsky (AKA National Post columnist Steve Murray) asked me to pose for the lead character of his new sex comic, I asked what it was about. 

“Well your character, Suzie, when she has sex – time basically stops. And she meets a guy and they have sex and time stops for him too and then they rob banks together.”

Sold.

The premise behind Sex Criminals was like nothing I’d ever heard, but I love heists and sex and the idea of being immortalized in a comic book about those things. So, last year, my fiancé and I posed for what would be the basis of the Sex Criminals promo picture. We assumed a sprawled-out, post-coital position. Zdarsky loomed over us, barking out orders like the captain of a sex cruise.

“Do we have to be naked?” we wondered, sheepishly.

“Well, no,” he said. “But I do.”

Thus began what would become a hilarious (and surprisingly touching) hit. Sex Criminals is the creation of acclaimed comic writer, Matt Fraction, along with Zdarsky, who does the artwork. Every few months, my partner-in-crime Alex Hoffman (the model for John, Suzie’s lover) and I trek to Zdarsky’s backyard studio. It is a renovated one-room garage containing a futon thing, framed glamour shots of Steve’s mom and a mini-fridge marked “Chilled Erotic Aids“. We are plied with Dan Akyroyd’s Sauvignon Blanc and Miss Vickie’s Salt & Vinegar chips – just enough to bumble awkwardly through re-enactments of Zdarsky’s sketchy storyboards. 

The first issue, Suzie Down In The Quiet, was launched last month at Wicked, Toronto’s premier sex club. Zdarsky wore a Garfield suit and read his erotic prose while Fraction temporarily lost consciousness after having his nipples pierced in front of a sweaty throng of comic enthusiasts and perverts. This performance touched on some ancient sensibility, and the masses responded by snapping up copies. Issue two, Come, World, comes out today.


Yesterday, I asked Zdarsky what it was like to be a celebrated sex comic artist, newpaperman and recluse.

TT: What is your favourite thing to draw in Sex Criminals?

CZ: Your hair. It’s like a zen exercise. I’d love to draw an entire issue of just your hair where they have to brimp* their way out.


TT: Is it difficult to think of visual sex puns? 

CZ: It’s a little bit like automatic writing. In issue two I tried to come up with porn titles for as many posters and boxes I could manage. I think in the first panel of the sex shop scene there are at least 40 jokes. I can’t even see them all in the printed version they get so tiny. Like I just did them for me. Like I do sex.

 
TT: How long and hard do you think about time travel and the ramifications of ‘physics’ and ‘science’ on aforementioned time travel? 

CZ: Heh, heh, “long and hard.” 

We have a few basic ideas about how things work in the frozen time space. If you think about it too hard everything seems impossible so you have to play a little fast and loose with the laws of physics, but establish enough rules so you can navigate and create situations. Matt knows where he’s going, but is open to the universe sending us in another direction. Like when you have sex and somebody slips and puts something in a bum and you’re all, like, “ok, this is where we’re at now.”

TT: What is the worst part about working with Alex and I?

CZ: TOO ATTRACTIVE. I’m much better at drawing “ugly.”

 

TT: What do you like about working with us? 

 CZ: Comics are so solitary. Seeing you guys once a month is, like, my only human contact. Please don’t leave me. I have candy.

 

TT: What is working with Fraction like? 

CZ: I hate that Fraction works with such great collaborators (myself SO not included). I’ll start to feel good about my work and then pick up something else he’s working on, like Hawkeye with David Aja, and just curl up in a ball and cry.

The best part is that he’s such a great writer I have no problem trusting him. I have trust issues. Because of Carol.

TT: How do you prepare yourself to draw? How do you reward yourself after you finish an issue? Like Paul Sheldon (from Stephen King’s Misery) – a cigarette and a match? 

I don’t know. A lot of artists do warm-up sketches, but I just get right into it. Light some candles, put on some smooth jazz, and let the crushing workload take me away.


I used to reward myself after big projects with a video game. But now it seems I just have time to take a day off.

TT: Both issues 1: ‘Suzie Down In The Quiet’ & 2: ‘Come, World’ deal with awkward coming-of-age teenage sexuality. Can you sum up your own sexual awakening?  

CZ: When I was five I charged neighbourhood girls five cents to see my peeny and ten cents to touch it. So I simultaneously had a sexual awakening and opened my eyes to the human body as a commodity.

TT: Are Fraction’s nipples now infected?

CZ: Based on the photos that he keeps sending me no matter how many times I tell him to stop, his nipples are as healthy as those of a prize dairy cow and just as chock full of antibiotics.


TT: Are you retiring the Garfield suit?

It fucking stinks now. Trying to summon the courage to take it into a dry cleaners that won’t judge me.


TT: What is the main difference between drawing for newspapers and drawing for Sex Criminals? 

CZ: People throw out newspapers almost immediately, comics are 4ever.

 

You can buy Sex Criminals at your local comic store or online. 

 

*’Brimping’ is an obscure sex act depicted in Issue 1.

____

Tiffy Thompson is a regular contributor to Toronto Standard & The Grid. Follow her on Twitter at @tiffyjthompson. 

For more, follow us on Twitter at @TorontoStandard and subscribe to our newsletter.

____
 


  • TOP STORIES
  • MOST COMMENTED
  • RECENT
  • No article found.
  • By TS Editors
    October 31st, 2014
    Uncategorized A note on the future of Toronto Standard
    Read More
    By Igor Bonifacic
    October 30th, 2014
    Culture Vice and Rogers are partnering to bring a Vice TV network to Canada
    Read More
    By Igor Bonifacic
    October 30th, 2014
    Editors Pick John Tory gets a parody Twitter account
    Read More
    By Igor Bonifacic
    October 29th, 2014
    Culture Marvel marks National Cat Day with a series of cats dressed up as its iconic superheroes
    Read More

    SOCIETY SNAPS

    Society Snaps: Eric S. Margolis Foundation Launch

    Kristin Davis moved Toronto's philanthroists to tears ... then sent them all home with a baby elephant - Read More