November 21, 2017
June 21, 2015
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Best Thing on the Internet Today: End of the World Craigslist Personals
"We all know dec 21 is comming and I don't want to die a virgin"

It’s the end of the world as we know it and the people of craigslist are feeling freaky. “What else is new,” you quip. Go ahead and roll your eyes but there is something special about these End of Days personals. Watching people decide how to spend their final moments on Earth is kind of morbidly beautiful… But this is craigslist so a lot of it is just weird.

Some people are taking this very seriously and tackling the situation practically. Smart thinking to bring TWO pigs. Shows these guys are thinking long term.

Others are taking a more relaxed approach. Who says the end of the world can’t involve a discussion about your favourite episode of Futurama?

Some are even more relaxed. Like, we’re talking as relaxed as you can be.

Then come the realists who have accepted their fate and just want to feel the warm embrace of human contact one last time before they are spirited away to the next plane. But the connection needs to be real, as real as the possibility that anything will actually happen tomorrow.

Two young ladies would be lucky to spend their final moments with this charming fellow.

:S is really the only emoticon that can express how I feel about the impending apocalypse.

I stand corrected. This post really has me feeling 🙁

But not everybody wants sex for the end of the world. Some altruistic individuals only want to help others.

Despite all the doom and gloom, some people continue to go about their lives, simply using craigslist to sell things that are no longer of any use to them.

As for us, we here at Toronto Standard will be spending our final moments dilligently editing and preparing next week’s content which is already written and very much planned. It’s not as if we’ve been putting it off on the assumption that some catastrophe will knock out the whole Internet taking out our site in the process. But in the case that something were to happen tomorrow, thanks for reading and good luck in the coming hunger games.

____

Michael Kolberg is The Sprawl Editor at Toronto Standard. Follow him on Twitter for jokes @mikeykolberg.

For more, follow us on Twitter at @torontostandard and subscribe to our Newsletter.

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