The Don River: how thy bushes gleam, how thy concrete embarkments sheen, how thy graffiti’d bridges scream. It has every facet of wonder that a city could ever wish for. Garabge? Mmmhmm. Putrid stench? Yep. Murky, brown colour? Yeah-huh. Dead bodies? This is the biggest city in Canada — probably. Okay, well it does have a really great bike path; I’ll give it that. I like it there (in passing).
But animals dig those digs for habitation, according to video evidence from YouTube. There’s a whole bunch of animals who’ve been spotted chilling in the Don:
Beavers!
Pacific Chinook Salmon!
Black-Crowned Night Herons!
A mysterious oily substance! (Sorry, I had to.)
Still, we’re on the right track. It’s incredible to consider that I could wander in with my hipwaders (HOT!) and go grab a salmon from the Don. And maybe eat it. If it weren’t radioactive.
Why not help save the Don River, because I have a dream about becoming a fly fisherwoman, but I’m not moving up north, and I desperately want to feel some goddamn urban clarity. Do it for me, brah.
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…Jessica Carroll is the Toronto Standard’s “Best Thing on the Internet Today” columnist. Follow her on Twitter at @jssckr.
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