Why is ancient gossip so fascinating? I mean, people like it. They love it even. Remember The Da Vinci Code? (Ask your dad.) Mention something about ancient societies, secrets, and lies (note: best with dramatic sex rituals) and populations the world over will devour it. I am guilty of liking this stuff too, despite being a bit of a history purist. Still, you should probably avoid bringing up the rabble-rousing, gender-bending Egyptian pharoah Akhenaten around me, because his recorded existence is so goddamned juicy. Too, you should be willing to forgo any further conversation if you mention one of the former wonders of the world, like The Ephesian Temple of Artemis that was burned to the ground in Year 401. I find this gut-wrenching.

Now, IO9 tells me there is a tomb that alleges to be Christ’s in Shing?, Japan and my mind is all race-y: what is the meaning of this? Who was this Jesus person, anyway?

From The Japan Times: “Christ first visited Japan between the ages of 21 and 33 (the Bible does in fact skip over large periods of Christ’s early life, and many theories exist about what he did in the intervals). The document claims he studied the native language and culture before returning to Jerusalem, where he was crucified. Only it wasn’t really him who was crucified. His younger brother, Isukiri (who makes no appearance in the Bible), nobly took his place on the cross, pretending to be the Son of God, while the real Christ fled to Siberia.

A few years later, via Alaska, he arrived at the port of Hachinohe, just 40 km from Shing?. He made his way to the village, where he married, had three children, and lived to the age of 106.”

Here’s a video that pretty well debunks the myth, but who cares; I’ve already got a book deal for this story and Dan Brown is PISSED.