Despite generally being a fan of anything that takes us closer and closer to a Star Trek future, I’ve never been a big fan of Google Glass. So what, I thought, when they made the announcement last year, and when the device was all over the spring 2013 New York fashion shows. I couldn’t help but think it would just be a fad, if consumers even saw a final product at all. But dev kits are out, apps for Glass have been announced, and a tentative 2014 consumer release date has been set. So it looks like this thing is really happening. But the more I hear and see about it, the less I like it, and my feelings have swiftly turned from eyerolling indifference to outright dislike. I also think this product is doomed to fail. Here are the reasons why.
It Has Already Attracted the Notice of Congress
And not in a good way, in that everyone in Congress wants one for each of their homes. Somewhat surprisingly, several members of Congress have already sent Google a letter expressing concern that Google Glass will infringe on people’s right to privacy. Specifically, they want to know how Google is going to protect users from having their personal data collected and used without their consent. However, the implications of privacy violations are much bigger than just that, and Congress probably won’t have any power to stop users who violate other people’s privacy.
The fact is, Google Glass allows the wearer much greater ease to take photos and videos of other people without their consent. Given how badly the cameras on smartphones have been abused, Google Glass makes me very, very uncomfortable. Is there even a way for people who aren’t wearing a Glass device to tell if someone is photographing or taking video of them? (Smartphones are required by law in many places to have a loud camera shutter noise to prevent men from taking lewd photographs of women without their knowledge). Shouldn’t we be banning them entirely in certain places, like public washrooms and locker rooms? Not to mention that fact that you wink to take photos, which a) is easy to do by accident, and b) EW (kudos on the gif choice though, Tech Crunch). Lawmakers in West Virginia are already working on a bill to ban Google Glass on the road, but what about pedestrians? I can definitely see someone getting hit by a car because they’re too engrossed in their Twitter. I don’t think we’ve even begun to foresee the legal complications that can arise from such a device, and that has me very worried.
Let’s Be Real Here — They’re Ugly, and The Build Quality is Questionable
Let’s face it — aesthetics are actually pretty important. There’s a reason every other phone manufacturer has cribbed the iPhone’s design. And Google Glass, despite making it to fashion week one time, are not fashionable. Google is reputedly working with Warby Parker to make that less of the case, but if the version that’s out now is the final product, I am not impressed. Though it could have been worse, I genuinely don’t understand any writer who thinks this is a beautiful design. You could not pay me to put Google Glass anywhere near my face (things I have put on or near my face that other people probably find questionable: purple-black lipstick, numerous hats and fascinators, sparkly cat eye glasses and sunglasses).
You also can’t wear them with prescription glasses, so if you’re unable to wear contacts for any reason (and there and tons and tons of people who can’t), no Google Glass for you. Google is working on a prototype that does work with prescription glasses, but it doesn’t look any less dumb. In fact, it looks like it hinders your vision even more than the regular prototype. Again, I’ll take a pass.
The quality of the final product is also not cutting it for me, especially given the price point. It’s mostly made out of plastic, and while Google has done a good job at making them as light as sunglasses, I think they have done so at the expense of quality. This thing looks like it will not survive the first time you drop it. And reputedly, the flimsy wire nose pads and arms mean that it’s very difficult to keep the device in place for any period of time. That kind of does away with the whole moving around unfettered bonus that we’re supposed to buy into.
All of the first apps are boooooring
Google also announced all the apps that would be coming out with the first consumer Google Glass, and I am BORED. All of the usual suspects are there — Facebook, Twitter, Evernote, CNN, basically everything you already have on your phone. Google also held a contest to allow civilians access to the first batch of Google Glass, but all they had to do was talk about what they personally would do with them, and again the things are pretty uninspiring. A few native apps have been announced, but aren’t really worth talking about. I don’t think we’re going to get any truly interesting or great software for this device for several years. Developers simply don’t have enough time to play with the hardware and make sure it’s really great. This is further complicated by the fact that Google has already announced that the Mirror API that developers currently have on hand probably isn’t going to be the one that consumers have, and the newer Glass Developer kit will feature a lot of things that the current version can’t do. And if there’s no great software for the device, then what’s even the point of being an early adopter?
The cultural and economic climate isn’t right
This, I think, is the absolute most important reason why Google Glass is going to be a colossal flop. We know that Google Glass is going to retail for around $1500. That’s pretty expensive, especially for the average person. Google CEO Sergey Brin has said that they’re not necessarily interested in Glass becoming a consumer device, that “you have to want to be on the bleeding edge [of technological advancement]” to want it. First of all that is bullshit, otherwise why release it to the public at all? But this statement also completely ignores the cultural and economic climate we’re in right now. We are still in an economic downturn, and $1500 is simply not practical for most people, especially young people, who face the highest unemployment rates.
This kind of frivolous spending just simply isn’t cool right now, and it’s coming out in the way we even talk about this device. The term “Glasshole” has already been coined for people who wear them, SNL has made fun of it, numerous other comedic videos and websites, like White Men Wearing Google Glass, have been coming out as a response. Google Glass has become shorthand for everything that’s wrong with technology right now — the newest thing is the best thing, simply because it’s new; the inherent undemocratic nature of technology, in that you have to be fairly wealthy to stay “on the cutting edge;” that only a certain type of person wants to buy this product, and that type of person is not who we want to be.
Tech Crunch‘s Drew Olanoff probably unintentionally lays out exactly why I’m not interested in Google Glass in his review of the prototype:
“Glass isn’t a replacement for your cell phone, since you have to pair the device with the one you have for cellular functionality. It’s not a device for watching movies or YouTube videos and it’s not going to replace your computer. You won’t be able to read full search results on the tiny screen, but you’ll be able to get to really relevant information quickly.
What Glass seems to be, in the few hours that I’ve spent with it, is a device that picks up some of the things you do throughout your day and makes that information more easily accessible…
For example, how many times a day do you pick up your phone to check the time or to see if you have any missed calls or text messages? I couldn’t count the times that I’ve wasted that arm motion, in the sense that it has taken attention away from things around me. Every single time you take your phone out, you’re telling the people that are around you that you have no interest in interacting with them for at least 30 seconds while you dive into your phone. Now, am I saying that having a screen above your eye is any less socially awkward? No. But it lets you access the same information quicker without having to stop what you’re doing.”
That entire excerpt is LITERALLY INSANE. You are paying $1500 for a glorified WATCH. JUST BUY A WATCH, DUDE!! I’m pretty sure you can buy a watch with diamonds in it for that much money (for way less than that, actually), and the value of that will actually NOT depreciate the way that technology does.
In comparison, when the first iPhone came out, it was $400. Not cheap, but not totally out of the realm of possibility for most people. The Great Recession hadn’t quite hit us yet. We were all still feeling pretty good, not having gotten laid off for months at a time. I definitely think had the iPhone first come out now, it probably wouldn’t have taken off as much as it did. The 3D television, a similarly misguided product, basically died for these same reasons.
The failure of Google Glass probably won’t destroy Google, and it probably won’t even destroy Augmented Reality technology. But it’s definitely too soon, and the technology and the cultural mindset just isn’t there yet for it to be a success. I for one, will not be buying one, and instead have already snagged the Tumblr url to “Glassholes Who Walk Into Things.”
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Megan Patterson is a freelance writer and the Science and Technology Editor at feminist geekery site Paper Droids. She also tweets more than is healthy or wise.
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