You’ve done it again. Despite morning-after promises made to yourself just last Thursday, you’ve woken up on a workday with a hangover that no amount of Pepo-Bismol can hope to cure. Worse yet, you might still be drunk. Or does the world always spin like that?
This is going to be a miserable day; there’s no getting around that. But maybe, just maybe, you don’t have to look quite so much like a Seagram’s-soused sewer rat. With any luck, you might even be able to keep your coworkers and, more importantly, boss(es) in the sort of dark your headache begs for. To help you out (no personal interest in excessive drinking and its after effects whatsoever), we’ve tried and tested countless so-called ‘miracle’ products, and are happy to report back with five that will actually help you save face when the best of times turns into the worst of times.
1. Elizabeth Grant Biocollasis Complex Cell Vitality 3-in-1 Eye Treatment
If you can remember to apply an eye treatment on a regular basis, and maybe (I know this is asking a lot) even before you head to bed after stumbling home, hangovers are gonna look hella better for you. A 3-in-1 treatment like Elizabeth Grant’s targets puffy, saggy skin while erasing dark circles and even fighting fine lines. Grant uses a trademarked compound dubbed “Torricelumn,” and although I can’t tell you what’s in it, I can tell you it works wonders.
$29.99, available at ElizabethGrant.com
2. Yes To Cucumbers Facial Towelettes
I’ve read some ‘how to hide a hangover’ posts on other sites that suggest covering up last night’s makeup with – wait for it – even more makeup. Don’t do that. What looks all Britney, Bitch to your still-tipsy self in the morning mirror will quickly turn Walking Dead under an office’s harsh fluorescent lights. Instead, use these hypoallergenic towelettes to quickly remove dirt, sweat, and makeup. Bonus: Yes To Cucumbers is packed with nutrients from green super foods to detoxify, soothe, and hydrate skin as you clean.
$10, available at Shoppers Drug Mart
3. GOSH BB Cream
Let’s be honest, you don’t have the energy, willpower, or time (since you slept in an extra 30 minutes) to so much as open your makeup case. Layering on moisturizer, primer, sunscreen, and foundation just isn’t happening. You need an all-in-one product that actually does the job, and that’s where GOSH’s BB Cream with SPF 15 comes in. This little guy will do all of the above, plus smooth and firm your skin. Ace.
$22, available at Shoppers Drug Mart
4. NARS Optimal Brightening Concentrate
From the company that used blush to give you an orgasm (or the look of one, anyway) is a primer that actually does a good job of turning sallow into almost-sexy again. If you can muster up the resolve to add one more step to your morning skin routine, this is it. NARS’ Optimal Brightening Concentrate is infused with a light-reflecting complex that instantly brightens and revitalizes your complexion. Vitamin C also lends a hand by clarifying and evening skin tone while preventing signs of aging. Plus, you’ll be very glad to know it’s fragrance and alcohol-free.
$85, available at the Bay
5. John Frieda Luxurious Volume Anytime Refresher
If you haven’t showered, this dry shampoo is going to be your hair’s best friend. John Frieda’s Volume Refresher absorbs oils and renews volume with just a few quick sprays to help you avoid that aforementioned sewer rat look. EGPR gifts it to media every year at their TIFF Essentials Lounge, and it has gotten me through some serious film festival-induced lack of sleep, sobriety, and hygiene.
$10.49, available at Shoppers Drug Mart
Sabrina Maddeaux is Toronto Standard’s managing editor. Follow her on Twitter at @sabrinamaddeaux.