The world has changed a lot since Princess Diana gave birth to William at St. Mary’s hospital in London. Not only are eighties-style maternity frocks and hospital stockings out, but more and more life is lived online. In days of old (okay, 1982), the details of Prince William’s birth was posted on an easel in front of Buckingham palace. Yesterday, the news of the royal birth broke on Twitter and Facebook, with the official word coming from Clarence House. Prince William never had to worry about a TMZ camera chasing after him in his Bugaboo stroller. Though some things will likely stay the same. Sure, I’d love to see the Royal Family move with the times and embrace the name “Asher” over “Arthur,” but as far as I’m aware there never was a King Asher.

To help navigate the world of the royal newborn — the ultimate “IT” child – I endeavoured to speak to other celebrity babies on tacking celebrity, social media, and cloth diapers. Unfortunately, Blue Ivy and North West’s publicists wouldn’t return my calls (though North West’s management did say they’d be interested if we’d offer a front cover. And full copy approval).

So instead, I approached Honest Toddler. With a quarter of a million followers on Twitter, a blog and a book, Honest Toddler claims to he is “Not potty trained. Not trying.” He speaks out about life as a toddler, the horrors of a trip to Ikea and how celebrity kids who live in the fast lane should be given a time out. After promising to share my recipe for Fairy Bread, he agreed to speak with us. I sat crib-side with Honest Toddler — as soon as he woke from his nap.

The Washington Post has already declared that the William and Kate’s first child will be “the world’s most famous baby.” Are you worried about the competition?

Young infants are always a concern for toddlers. I’m grateful to have an ocean separating us.

The birth was announced by @clarencehouse and resulted in over 2 million tweets worldwide. Did you retweet?

I almost never retweet- it feels to close to sharing.

There’s talk the royal baby (and future ruler of the Commonwealth) will have their own Twitter account. Any tips on building followers?

Be honest.

I understand you recently released a book, A Child’s Guide to Parenting. Suri has her “Burn Book.” How long until the royal baby has a book deal signed?

I believe a book deal was signed a few weeks after conception. The placenta helped negotiate the fine points.

Any advice you can share from your book with the royal parents?

When the royal baby becomes a royal toddler I just hope they give him the freedom he needs. No diamond-studded leashes or golden baby gates.

Obviously as a royal heir, education and mixing in the proper social circles will be of utmost importance. What does Kate need to know about getting in with the right play group?

It all comes down to having the right snacks. No blood pudding or beans on toast… unbroken crackers and fruit snacks are a must if this child is to be accepted amongst his peers.

What’s your advice to the royal baby on gaining the Queen’s favour? And possibly moving up the line of succession?

Grandmas are usually pretty easy to win over. A simple smile or two should get her on his team for life.

Celebrations are taking place around the world now the royal baby is here. Niagara Falls will light up blue. How is Honest Toddler going to celebrate the royal birth?

Toddlers are generally uncomfortable with the idea of celebrating someone that isn’t them. I’ll be doing nothing.

Diapers – cloth or disposable?

Either one. The most important thing is that potty training is delayed indefinitely.

Bugaboo Chameleon or Costco umbrella stroller?

As long as I’m being held while they push it with one hand, I don’t care.

Soother or thumb?

Both. Forever.

Co-sleeping or crying it out?

Co-sleeping. Doesn’t make sense for the smallest member of the family to be the only one sleeping alone.

Thanks for your time, Honest Toddler. You can go back to picking Cheerios off the floor now.

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Amanda Lee is a Toronto-based freelance writer whose work has also appeard in The Grid, Toronto Star, and Up! Magazine. Follow her on Twitter at @leeamandaj.

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