Get ready for the Feminist Porn Awards! Image via Flickr
1. Mad Couture Catwalk, Friday, April 13.… Hosted at the Weston Family Learning Centre at the Art Gallery of Ontario, the Mad Couture Walk is a runway-style presentation showcasing wearable couture by Workman Arts artists (that is, an arts and mental health company who uses the arts as a means to improve the quality of life of those with mental illness and addiction). In other words, come check out some wacky fashion in support of some wacky people! The event will run from 7 — 10 p.m., and tickets cost $15 for students, $20 for AGO members, and $25 for the public.
2. Toronto Cat Rescue Adopt-a-thon, Saturday, April 14. If you like cats, which I will never understand/if you do you’re weird, then head over to Pet Valu at 1660 Bloor Street West for the Toronto Cat Rescue Adopt-a-thon. The adoption fee is $100, $75 lower than the usual fee, but really you can’t put a price on love (although you can, with dogs, which are better). Both cats and kittens will be available to take home, and are guaranteed to be spayed, neutered and/or vaccinated. Attractive.
3. Toronto Roller Derby, Saturday, April 14. Do like Ellen Page and Juliette Lewis in Whip It! and put on your derby shoes on, gals. It’s time so kick some ass. From 5 — 11 p.m. you can experience classic battles such as the all-star team CN Power versus the Queen City Rollergirls Lake Effect Furies, or the Gore Gore Rollergirls vs. the Death Track Dolls. Tickets are available for $14 in advance online, or $12 from one of the ticket outlets. Bring an icepack, because it’s going to be a hot one. The fun occurs at The Bunker at Downsview Park, 40 Carl Hall Road, Keele and Sheppard.
4. Orchestra Toronto, Sunday, April 15.… Read musky books and listen to the fine (classical) music, all while sipping on aged scotch? Then this event is for you. At the Toronto Centre for the Arts, the concert ‘Sax d’Or’ (meaning the golden saxophone) will feature guest soloist Wallace Halladay. At intermission, kids also get the chance to participate in the orchestra’s popular Instrument Petting Zoo. Talk about a bunch of rich white kids. The concert runs from 3:00 to 5:30, and tickets for adults are $39, $14 for youth and children, and $34 for seniors.
5. The All-American Rejects, Tuesday, April 17. For all you horrible-taste-in-music’ers, The All-American Rejects are coming to the Phoenix Concert Theatre this day. Known for ‘hits’ such as ‘Gives You Hell’ and ‘Move Along,’ the show is guaranteed to release your inner high school self. Really, you should go. Tickets are available at Live Nation’s website.
6. Kaiser Chiefs, Tuesday, April 17. If your taste in music is considerably better, you may want to check out the Kaiser Chiefs with the Teenage Kicks at the Opera House. Tickets are available at Ticketmaster Outlets, Rotate This and/or Soundscapes. So, ‘Oh My God,’ get ready guys.
7. Feminist Porn Awards, Wednesday, April 18 (runs until April 20). The Feminist Porn Awards, hosted by Good For Her (a women’s sex/fantasy shop), will celebrate erotica focused on women and marginalized people. Different films and chats will be hosted in various venues around the city, and the events will promise porn, entertainment, and eye candy — so it can’t be all that dreadful. The event is 19+ only, sorry youngsters, and tickets are $30 at the door or online.
8. Riverdance, Thursday, April 19 (runs until April 21). We’ve all fantasized about being a part of Riverdance, the flashy dance spectacular. Am I right? Ok, well maybe just a few of you. Just me? OK Cool. Anyhow, the Irish musical is ending its 17-year run at the Sony Centre For The Performing Arts, so go see an iconic dance extravaganza while it still lasts. Tickets are available for as low as $34.
9. Toronto Art Expo, Thursday, April 19 (runs until April 22). Hosted at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre, Toronto’s premier art and cultural event is bringing over 200 Canadian and International artists to the downtown core (perfect, that’s where all the major art snobs are!) Expect artists from Quebec to Japan and Vietnam. Admission is $14 at the door, or $10 for students and seniors. Children get in for free. Lucky bastards.
10. Toronto Wing Festival, Friday, April 20. Saving the best for last, obviously. That’s right — Toronto has its very own chicken wing festival happening from 6 — 11 p.m. at Beverly Hall. Over 600 pounds of wings will be yours to enjoy at this all-you-can-eat food fest (mouth drooling yet?) Tickets are $30, but guess what, they’re actually sold out. There’s a waiting list. People love their wings, eh?!