I asked a bunch of people what their most mortifying Halloween moment was. Here’s what they told me.

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“I dressed up as an old lady and trick-or-treated at an old folks home (by accident). When they asked me what I was, I hemmed and hawed and said: ‘You’. That was mortifying.”

All Illustrations by Tiffy Thompson

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“When I was eight years old I tried to dress up like an attractive alien but looked like a prostitute instead. Perhaps more disturbing is that my make-up application techniques haven’t much improved.”

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“I agreed to let my girlfriend’s kids dress me up as a goth girl for halloween. FML.”

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“Unicorn. Picture it. Chubby five-year old tomboy forced to wear a white bodysuit with white nylons and a pink mane and tail. I wanted to be GI Joe that year. Or a mudblup.”

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“Probably the ‘indian girl’ costume. Apparently, my parents, nor I, had much knowledge of the subtleties of racism back in 1988.”

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“Wait… I forgot about the costume I wore as a baby. I was a ‘ghost’ but unfortunately the eye-holes were cut into the corner of the white pillow case I was wearing, so the corner pointed up. Similar to that of the KKK.”

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“I had this plastic C3PO costume that disintegrated in the cold weather and the strap broke and I had to use one mitten to keep it skullbound. It felt like George Lucas personally let me down.”

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“Angie and Susan dressed up like violins, and made costumes for hours and people thought they were bags of potatoes. They cried that night.”

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“At one guy’s house we trick-or treated at – he just threw his piece of fried chicken he was eating into my pillowcase of candy.”

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