Bad news over the weekend. Clarence Clemons, “The Big Man,” best known as the saxophonist in Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band, has died. Anyone who’s ever heard “Born to Run,” which means everybody, knows that saxophone solo. More recently, Clemons was recruited to play on Lady Gaga’s latest album.
Meanwhile, as Vancouver continues to rebuild after the hockey riots, social media is being used to identify more and more of the rioters. Here’s a free tip for next time. If you must riot in the streets, resist the temptation to post photos of your exploits on Facebook or boast about it on your blog.
In other hockey-related news, a Quebec City man is receiving hate mail for taking the city to court over its decision to hand over rights to a publicly-funded arena to a private company (this as part of Quebec’s ambitions to regain an NHL team). Next thing you know, they’ll be rioting in the streets over this.
A Canadian soldier has been fined for mailing assault rifles from Afghanistan to his home in Ontario. The good news is that the rifles, which were intended as trophies, had been rendered useless. The bad news is that apparently you can send assault rifles through Canada Post — as long as they’re not on strike, of course.
NATO has admitted that an airstrike in Libya aimed at Moammar Gadhafi’s forces in Tripoli may have killed nine civilians. Funny how often that seems to happen when bombs start falling on cities. It’s like the old WWII joke about two soldiers surveying a city completely flattened by Allied bombing. “We sure liberated the hell out of this place,” says one.
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IDLER
Lesbians Who Look Like Conan O’Brien
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LOCAL
The MuchMusic Video Awards took over downtown Toronto on Sunday and left the city mostly intact. This despite the fact that Lady Gaga performed (twice!!) and Justin Bieber showed up to share the stage with girlfriend and co-host Selena Gomez.
A Toronto city councillor wants to make sure city workers do a better job of cutting the grass on municipal property. Apparently, Denzil Minnan-Wong thinks some grass owned by the city is too long. Hey, why not deal with it the same way the city deals with trees? That is, by paving the area all around until the grass dies.
Meanwhile, the Toronto zoo has found a new use for all the manure it collects from its many animals. The manure, which is currently composted, will now be sent to a biogas factory and converted into power. Well, you know, everybody poops. Especially elephants, which makes it sad that Toronto will soon be losing its pachyderms.
And another city councillor wants to start a website to track the potholes on Toronto streets. The proposed site would record the state of maintenance and allow the public to report additional potholes. The only problem is that drivers may be tempted to track the potholes on their laptop while they’re driving. That is, if they have a hand free from the cellphone or coffee.
Saturday marked the 110th anniversary of the world’s longest-burning lightbulb. Except for the occasional power outage, the bulb has been on since 1901. There’s even a webcam taking photos of the bulb every 10 seconds.
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THE LAST
A gladiator who died 1,800 years ago may have been killed as a result of an error by the referee, which let his opponent continue to fight after he had been knocked down. So the next time you start screaming at the TV because the ref missed a call against the Leafs, remember that. And remember that, even in Canada, hockey isn’t actually life and death.
