Just when I thought it was safe to walk down a dark alleyway in Toronto, The Avenue proved me wrong. But before we get to the end of this week’s episode (an episode that didn’t exist, half-existed and then arrived fully formed), there are two new characters to discuss: Rosedale mom Shannon and human scum Carina.
Shannon is the epitome of the Rosedale mom stereotype: she drinks wine during the day; she offers wine to Gregory* during the day (*Because she’s not like other moms); and she has wine accessories, like a poodle named Coco that must sit in her lap before she takes a sip. You can tell she’s rubbed off on Gregory, who, after taking a sip of his chilled white wine, analyzes the tasting notes and concludes that it’s “sweet.” Maturing into rayull adulthood just seems easier in Rosedale, right? Perhaps, but what they don’t tell you in the brochures is that you sometimes have to go to nightclubs to have conversations.
It is in a nightclub where we meet Rachel’s new friend Carina, who comes in after Rachel makes Claire and Gregory feel awkward for hanging out with Arta the week before. Here’s what is wrong with Carina: she namechecks Louboutin; she enjoys going to the club Maison; she gleefully takes free champagne, only to ask if it is “real or Prosecco?”; and she believes she is “too pretty to be gay.” Of those things, the worst is the latter. Her belligerent homophobia comes out as she is accusing Arta of being a lesbian because she’s wall dancing with Claire–wall dancing “a little too close” according to Carina and Rachel, who think it might be funny to repeatedly ask Arta if she’s a lesbian. It is so uncomfortable. It is like watching children belittle a tiny boy for being gay because he likes pink Skittles. Then he cries, so he’s gay. I can just tell that Rachel and Claire feel pretty good about themselves after trying to force someone out of the closet, who, for all I know, isn’t even gay. Arta, if you are or are not a lesbian, I’ve got your back. Rachel and Carina? You are actually the worst people in Toronto*. (*Toronto as portrayed by The Avenue, which is no one’s Toronto.)
It is an interesting episode, because it really pushes season 2’s gay agenda. Is Arta a lesbian? Are Chad and Connor gay for not-pay? Will Jay come out already? And with season 2’s too-gay-to-function model, it seems only appropriate to end mid-season with a gay bashing. Gregory tells the camera person he needs a moment, and so the camera looks at the sidewalk for a few seconds before we hear Gregory being gay bashed in an alleyway. Believe me, ever since I came out, being attacked for praying at the altar of cock/boy-love has been a fear of mine. I think it is really interesting that the show is trying to deal with some fairly delicate subject matter, but this mid-season cap is too hokey: Greg’s “no cameras” wave, the adjacent alleyway, the camera drop and the dark shadows all make me want to laugh, not cry. And that’s a problem. I want to take something like this seriously, because it is serious. But The Avenue paints its characters with a Hills-like brush, and because of that, it is impossible to see this week’s attempt at being rayull as anything but banal.
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Kevin Naulls is a Toronto-based writer and former editor of The Goods and The Hype at Torontolife.com. Follow him on Twitter @kevinjn.
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