The New Zealand Society for the Prevention of Creulty to Animals (SPCA) has been training dogs to drive cars to prove that rescue dogs are not second-tier pets and that you can, in fact, teach an old dog new tricks. If you’re like me, you glazed over everything in that sentence that wasn’t “training dogs to drive cars.” You’re already watching the video. You’re not reading this. That’s fine. Go ahead.

The simple truth is: dogs want to drive. It won’t be long before gentrified neighbourhoods are overwhelmed with Doggie Driving Schools. We need to make this legal, and we need to do it now. There will be detractors and “governments” worried about “public saftey,” but some of us have been advocating this kind of dog independence for a long time. Maybe we can get Rob Ford to jam this through City Council before he gets turfed in January? It would virtually guarantee a big win in a by-election, especially if dogs could also vote.

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Michael Kolberg is The Sprawl Editor at Toronto Standard. Follow him on Twitter for jokes @mikeykolberg.

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