We may have to deal with rioters on the streets of Vancouver, but at least we don’t have Mexico’s problems. Police have arrested a leader of the Juarez drug cartel known by the alias “El Brad Pitt.” That’s when you really know you’re famous – when a homicidal leader of a drug cartel chooses to name himself after you.
But the riots continue to plague Canada. While the world makes fun of us, Vancouver’s mayor and police chief are taking turns denying that any of it is their fault. Meanwhile, an anonymous couple who was photographed making out on the ground in front of the rioters is acquiring their own brand of notoriety. There’s a new aphrodisiac for us all to try out.
Good news, though, for those trying to flee the country before the riots spread to other provinces. Air Canada strikers are back on the job after a tentative agreement was reached with management. The agreement comes just hours after the government tabled back-to-work legislation.
Al Qaeda has finally announced a new leader, following the death of Osama bin Laden. An Islamist website has announced that Ayman al-Zawahri, bin Laden’s long-time second-in-command will take over. But you just know these things are nothing more than a popularity contest.
An American psychological study has concluded that men drive expensive sports cars in order to attract women. First of all, I think anybody could have told them that. And second, don’t the small penises interfere with the sexual part?
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Hey, does anybody remember Maple Leaf Gardens? Well, it seems that the venerable Gardens is finally on the verge of reopening after years of delay. The good news is that there will still be an NHL-sized rink in the building. The first floor, though, will be a giant Loblaw’s store, because that’s what Toronto’s been missing.
Before we Torontonians start feeling too smug about the Vancouver riots, let’s think back to our own G20 riots last summer. Well, apparently the federal government has turned down nearly half the businesses that have applied for compensation for lost business or damages.
The TTC will equip all subway stations with anti-suicide posters and phones linked directly to a suicide hotline in an attempt to deter jumpers. Good move. The TTC really does have to cut down on all those delays commuters experience.
Meanwhile, Toronto’s cycling advocates say that a proposed plan for the city’s cycling lanes does not go anywhere near far enough. Personally, in Toronto, I won’t feel safe cycling until there’s a plan that bans all cars from the roads.
It seems Lou Reed and Metallica will be releasing a new album together. It might sound like an odd collaboration initially, but remember, in his post-Velvet Underground days, Reed did release Metal Machine Music — to many surprised buyers it was one of the most excruciatingly unlistenable albums ever made. And Metallica did make Some Kind of Monster, one of the most excruciatingly unwatchable music films ever made.
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THE LAST
You know the recession has hit hard when a Colorado chamber of commerce feels it has to sell the rights to an annual celebration of a frozen and long-dead resident. The chamber wants to concentrate on business development and feels an event company could better handle the Frozen Dead Guy Days, what with the parade and all.
