In the alternate universe portrayed by period dramas on TV nowadays–Downton Abbey, Boardwalk Empire,  Mad Men–manners are not only cool again, they’re aspirational. It’s more than the fancy dress, posh accents, and clandestine intrigue; I really think people want to start acting a little more civilized.

But modern times require modern graces, and how would our favourite fictitious icons fare today? Herewith are my personal peeves and worst departures from classy social behaviour:

Cell Phones On The Dinner Table. Owning a celly stopped being a social status thing when they started selling them in shrink-wrapped boxes at convenience stores; why, then, do we spend so much time displaying them? Worse still, we spend most of our meals @ing the people sitting across from us. Your friends look cool; try talking to them.

Best to… Switch it off for an hour. If you’re not expecting a baby, there’s really no excuse. Trust me, Instragram will still be there at the end of the night.

CC’ing Me With A Bunch Of People I’ve Never Heard Of. I like you, you’re cool and I’m happy you got married, but I have no fucking idea who all your weird friends with Hotmail addresses are. When sending out a large email to a group of people, there’s no mistake more elementary than CC’ing everyone. Worse still is the buffoon who replies all.

Best to… Nothing lets people maintain the illusion that they might be special like being BCC’d.

Holding Up The Line At The ATM. What are you doing, writing your last will and testament? The person behind you just wants to grab $20 for a taxi cab with the meter running. This is not the time to see just how much you can do with a chequing account and a touch screen.

Best to… Wait till no one’s around before you deposit 17 cheques and try to decipher this unruly mechanical beast.

Making Reservations At A Hot Restaurant And Not Honouring Them. Yeah, people do that, and no, it’s not “probably fine.” The 15 people freezing their butts off outside? That’s your fault for double-booking reservations like a douchey bachelor booking dates. A two-second phone call and your conscience is cleared.

Best to… I know your friends are fussy and don’t have their shit together, so don’t reserve unless you’re sure.

Letting The Elevator Doors Close When You Clearly See Me Coming. You know that person, the one pretending to type a very important email as you rush madly to the closing doors with your shopping bags spilling everywhere. Not cool. Pressing the button and kindly waiting takes a mere moment and is just good modern karma.

Best to… hold tight, be courteous. Imagine if we all did that for everyone?

JJ Thompson is a man about town with a camera in one hand and a pen in the other. He is the founder of popular events site The Compendium Daily; follow @CompendiumDaily for the site and @jjtho for the man.