While some among us are fantasizing about electing a mayor who specializes in fictional characters, we thought we might get faster results by seeking advice from five of our favourite fictional mayors. 1. Think outside the drive-in sex box. Domenic Da Vinci wants a red-light district for Vancouver. Now that’s value for money, isn’t it, Giorgio Mammoliti?

2. Weigh your sartorial options. (Check out 2:36 for what may be the first fictionalized version of Mayor Ford.)

3. Improve your phone manner. Ford is famous for his phone calls-even in traffic. No such trouble for the mayor of Quahog.

4. Spruce up your deputations. Want to consult the public on how your town spends its infrastructure money? This is how it’s done.

5. Hire Michael J. Fox. Ford’s media guardian, Adrienne Batra, has the task of keeping him safe from hostile journalists. She’s not the first to step into the role.

But at least there’s no risk that the mayor is going to turn into a giant high-school smashing monster, right? Right.