My daily biking commute is regularly peppered with incidents, whether it’s dodging the maniac white van man, headphone-wearing cycle strumpets who weave with gay abandon, or kamikaze pedestrians who just step off the side walk without looking.
On most occasions I ring my bell, or if I’m in a particular edgy mood, I might yell something like “Oi, stupid!” or “Out of the way dumb ass”.
Despite my free use of the English language, I’m rarely heard as effectively as I’d wish over the hum of traffic. It briefly crossed my mind to buy a courier whistle, or even a microphone and set of speakers attached to my basket. But that would put me in the same class as the two wheeled ‘Preacher Man’—an occasionally seen Torontonian with soundsystem mounted on his bike who broadcasrs readings from The Book of Genesis, or The Psalms, while he rides.
My prayers, apparently, have been answered with the arrival of the Verbal Bicycle Bell ($24.95). This small attachable mouthpiece with a 44mm speaker fixes to the handlebars and either announces “on your left” or any other verbal warning up to 20 seconds you wish to record. To play it back, simply hit the ‘curse button’ and hear your message broadcast at an imposing 80 decibels. Now pedestrians, fellow bikers and drivers will hear your call to watch out. Or perhaps you might record a more personalized warning system—a growling lion, machine gun fire, or perhaps an excerpt of our Mayor talking about cyclists: “What I compare bike lanes to is swimming with the sharks.” I hope most users will avoid simply recording four letter cuss words.