A series of mini-dramas based on public conversations, as overheard and rewritten by local playwright/director Aurora Stewart de Peña.

Overheard outside of the TIFF Bell Lightbox

Gionni and Mike, in their very early twenties, smoke cigarettes. They are wearing white shirts that have grown dark with sweat around the underarms. Appealingly dressed people mill around, gathering for a film premiere. They stand apart from the crowd.

Gionni: Yeah man, he’s kind of a douche, it’s true. But he’s earned it, he’s a living legend.

Mike: Yeah, a living legend…in industrial toilet bowl sales.

Gionni: He makes six figures, do you make six figures?

Mike: No. But I have friends.

Gionni: He’s got friends, we just don’t know them.

Mike: Yeah, they’re like, other high-up toilet bowl sales guys.

They go to the toilet bowl club and have toilet bowl steaks with big glasses of toilet bowl merlot.

We can’t even go to clubs like that, there’s a dress code. You need a tie. With little toilet bowls embroidered on it.

Gionni: Listen, shut up.

Maybe you don’t see a future in this, but I do. You want to go play in a noodle guitar band? Drink 50s with your girlfriend who’s cheating on you?

Have fun. I’m going to make actual money.

Gionni stalks away. He points up at the Bell Lightbox tower.

Every single toilet in there? That was him.

Mike: Hey, man–

Gionni: Shut up.

Gionni crushes out his cigarette with the ball of his foot. He storms away.

Mike: Where are you going?

I didn’t know you cared that much about him!

I’m sorry!

____

Aurora Stewart de Peña is half of the theatre company Birdtown & Swanville (the other half is Nika Mistruzzi). You can follow her on Twitter at @Aurorahhh.

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