Here at Toronto Standard, we’re done with year-end lists before we’ve even, well, done them. On to the next! And best. And worst. And weirdest. And so it goes. Here our style editor presents us with what we think are mostly conniving wishes for the sure-to-be memorable year of 2012. 
Sarah’s predictions quickly sprawled on an airplane napkin 1. So You Think You Can Be Canada’s Next Top Reality Star? comes to a small screen near you. Hosted by one of Canada’s smartest 5th graders, the first season welcomes such contestants as Robin Kay, Casie Stewart, and Kai Nagata. 2. Girls! Our penchant for staring at our nails will at last be saleably combined with our penchant for staring at ourselves when Sally Hansen X-Pro Dri-Like-Yesterday Mirror-Polish hits shelves. 3. Sofia Coppola’s new film, Secret Door, is premiered on Fashionista.com. A much-loved ’90s alt-rock song, figuring prominently in the score, is ruined for dudes forever. Coppola shrugs, buys another cashmere duvet. 4. Meanwhile, Elle Fanning risks her Marc Jacobs contract, not to mention her career, by dyeing her hair firecrotch-red to play Lindsay Lohan (RIP) in the Eli Roth-directed biopic. 5. Instaglasses, available through iWear at $59.99 a pair, let you see your friends the way they see themselves: in hazy, highly flattering lighting with a 24/7 filmic tinge. Beer sales drop as IRL hookups get Insta’d at quasi-dive bars across the universe. 6. Karl Lagerfeld, ever-sensitive to the winds of the Zeitgeist, creates a Chanel couture collection entirely out of leftover Euros. Offers to dress Angela Merkel on her annual summer visit to China. 7. The Mayans were wrong. 8. By a day. Bye!
