Portland St. just north of Richmond

A series of mini-dramas based on public conversations, as overheard and rewritten by local playwright/director Aurora Stewart de Peña.

Overheard at the corner of Portland and Richmond at 6:15 am

Kendra, wearing a very tight, very short, very low-cut black-and-white-striped dress, talks into a Blackberry.

Kendra: No, Michael.

No.

And I’m about to tell you something — No.

Listen–

List–

Michael!

I have been working every day this week and I am exhausted, so this is the last favour I’m going to do for you, and it is a favour, because that guy gives me the willies and–

Well, I’m getting in a cab right now, aren’t I?

Yeah, so I’m on my way, but then I’m going home.

Kendra waves her arm. Matt, a cab driver, pulls over.

Kendra gets in.

Kendra: Excuse me for a second.

Kendra: [to Matt] Can you take me out to 22242 Dundas St. East, it’s in Mississauga. Sorry, it’s far, but can you take me?

[into the phone] I don’t care if he’s your friend. He’s not even your friend, because nobody is his friend.

Matt: Are you a hooker?

Kendra pulls the phone away from her face.

Kendra: What?

Matt: Are you a hooker?

I don’t drive hookers.

Kendra: I’m the CEO of Apple.

Matt: You’re, like, Steve Jobs?

Kendra: He’s dead. I took over.

And I need you to take me to 22242 Dundas St. East right now, please.

Matt steps on the gas.

____

Aurora Stewart de Peña is half of the theatre company Birdtown & Swanville (the other half is Nika Mistruzzi). You can follow her on Twitter at @Aurorahhh.

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