A series of mini-dramas based on public conversations, as overheard and rewritten by local playwright/director Aurora Stewart de Peña.

Overheard at Totum Life Fitness on King St West

Chad, Bret and Cory towel off after a particularly challenging kettlebell class.

They wear loose, knee-length shorts and t-shirts soaked with sweat. Chad has a carefully maintained five o’clock shadow. Bret has a beard that does not extend down his neck. Cory has a mustache.

Cory: Bret, you went hard, bro.

Bret and Cory high five lazily.

Bret: Those ring pulls almost killed me.

Cory: You fucked ‘em, though. You made those rings your bitch.

Bret, Cory and Chad laugh, wiping more sweat from their brows. Cory takes a long, gurgling sip of water.

Chad: Hey, you guys know Nicole?

Cory swallows.

Cory: Uh, your girlfriend?

Chad: Yeah, Nicole. 

Bret: Yeah.

Chad: She fucking broke up with me.

Pause. 

Cory: Oh, dude.

Bret: When?

Chad: Last night.

Bret: I’m sorry man, that’s rough.

Pause.

Chad: And… and…and the fucking other thing…

Pause. 

Chad: The fucking other thing about it…

Cory: Yeah?

Chad: Afterwards I went on a fucking live webcam site…

Chad drops his head into his hands.

Bret: Oh no.

Cory: Don’t say it.

Chad: And she’s one of the fucking webcam girls! Taking her clothes off on the fucking computer!

Cory: Oh, dude.

Bret: Sorry man, but she was always kind of a whore.

Cory: Don’t say that.

Bret: Sorry, but she was.

____

Aurora Stewart de Peña is half of the theatre company Birdtown & Swanville (the other half is Nika Mistruzzi). You can follow her on Twitter at @Aurorahhh.

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