This past January I went aboard the MSC Poesia for the inaugural voyage of Holy Ship, a three day electronic music festival cruise that set sail from Fort Lauderdale to Port Lucaya, and then to a private island in the Bahamas. On board, there were non-stop parties, including performances by Buraka Som Sistema, A-trak, Ditta von Teese, and others.

The festive climate on the ship was so consuming that when the ship had run aground on day two, barely anyone took notice of the brief breach of safety, bringing a whole new meaning to the term ship-wrecked. 

So now, as we approach the centennial anniversary of the sinking of the RMS Titanic this April, I’m a bit baffled by how far we have come along with technological advances–we are finally approaching our very own Jetsons’ era, with interactive video phones, and Virgin Galactic space voyages–and yet people are still readily consenting to throwing thousands of dollars to be stranded aboard a ship with a swarm of strangers, for a few days of “relaxation” and “escape.”

Still, there’s a reason why cruises are so widely popular, and it’s not the copious amounts of ping-pong tables and umbrella cloaked cocktails. Cruises can appeal to nearly everyone–excluding aquaphobics and the chronically nauseous of course–which makes cruising an easy and compact method of vacation travel.

Spending a week on a floating Disney World can be a fairytale come true for children and adults alike. But then again it could turn out to be a scary small world after all, with awfully tacky deck parties, plastered smiles, and relentless singing. That’s why it’s vitally important that if you choose to cruise, book the right cruise: one that is suited to your exact interests and appetite, or perhaps intolerance, for adventure.  

There are all sorts of cruises devoted to niche interests and alternative lifestyles. So even the most misanthropic star gazer is destined to find a kindred spirit aboard one of the three Great Barrier Reef Solar Eclipse Cruises that set off into the sunset this November.

Or if wife/husband swapping is more aligned with your tastes, then this April you can hump, I mean jump aboard The Swingers Cruise: Galápagos, where guests can get familiar with one another’s anatomies on the very island where Darwin formulated his theory for Natural Selection. However since the rate of casual sex during “traditional” short-term travel is fairly low, at a rate of about five per cent to nine per cent according to the Public Health Agency of Canada, I would expect that the scale of travel-acquired STDs is much higher on these wanton sex boats.

For the more musically inclined, there are cruises showcasing nearly every genre of music. Jam Cruise for the jam band aficionados; Holy Ship for electronic music lovers; Sweden Rock Cruise for the metal heads; and the Soul Train Cruise (featuring Pattie Labelle and Kool and the Gang) for my once hip parents. Even R Kelly and Blake Shelton have Caribbean cruises embarking this October; while Kenny G will be playing his smooth saxy-jazz aboard the Celebrity Millennium for a week-long Alaskan cruise in May 2013.

There’s literally something for everyone, which is the brilliant selling point of cruises. And despite the present adverse economic climate, the cruise industry continues to see growth, especially in the Caribbean market, which continues to outrank every other cruise destinations; and has even accounted for 41.3 per cent of all cruise itineraries in 2010, according to the Florida-Caribbean Cruise Association. In 2010, 15 million passengers embarked on cruise vacations, 11.1 million of them resided in North America. With an expanding fleet of ships and a growing passenger load (the FCCA projected 16 million people would vacation on a cruise in 2011), cruising maybe the most significant component of the tourism industry, and perhaps the future of packaged-travel.

So if/when you embark on your next (niche) cruise be prepared to acclimatize to the rocky life of leisurely sea travel, or else you will arrive back on land with sea-legs and wall-clutching vertigo! 

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Safa Jinje lives and writes in Toronto (except when she goes on vacation). Follow her on Twitter at @safajinje.

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