It all began, like so many things do, with teenage sex. In my particular case, it began with an absence of teenage sex. Gangly, skinny, pimply, I flailed when I danced, frequently damaged myself when I tried my hand at sports and was entirely tone deaf when it came to music. The future looked bleak and loveless, a state I found myself confessing to my grandmother one day. An excellent cook, she listened for a while, before walking to the larder and returning with three eggs and the butter dish.
“Crack them.”
“What? Where?”
“A bowl, a bowl,” she said, giving me a light smack to the back of the head.
I cracked away.
“Now stir with a fork, stir. Not too much, gently. Now, a pinch of salt.”
I stirred, I salted. I had no idea what I was doing, or what grandma was on about.
“Now, get a pan. Use that one and place it on the flame.”
On went a black cast iron pan, shiny and polished daily from daily seasoning with a piece of bacon rind.
“Butter. A pat. Let it melt and foam up.”
Butter melted and foamed obediently.
“Eggs. Now. Draw them in from the edges, let them set.”
The eggs were coming together, solidifying slowly, as I pushed the liquid out with a broad wooden spoon, trying to move and gently shake the pan like I’d seen her do many times before.
“Now, fold it over once and let it slip from the pan on to the plate. Now fold again. Don’t break it.”
I still had no idea how cooking eggs with grandma would get me in with the ladies. I looked up and she was looking at me.
“You say you can’t dance. You’re no good at sports, or music, but you’ve just made a decent omelette. You’ll be doing okay.”
She was right. From that day on, as word of my newly won skills made the rounds, my dating luck improved. Grandma’s long gone now and I admit, I still can’t dance, sing a tune or throw a ball, but that humble omelette I made with her all those years ago was the beginning of a journey I’m still on.
To celebrate another chapter in this culinary art of persuasion, I am starting this column for the Toronto Standard to share with you the basics in good cooking. So, let’s start with the basics- how to make a perfect omelette.
As with many things that humble omelette is very simple in nature, but attracts a certain mystique. Gordon Ramsay is said to test young chefs by handing them three eggs and a pan and seeing how they make the dish. In her classic book An Omelette and a Glass of Wine, Elizabeth David tells the tale of Madame Poularde who, at the beginning of the 20th century, was celebrated throughout France for her omelettes.
“She mixed water with the eggs, one writer would say, she added cream asserted another, she had a specially made pan said a third, she reared a special breed of hens unknown to the rest of France claimed a fourth. Before long, recipes for the omelette de la mre Poulard began to appear in magazines and cookery books. Some of these recipes were very much on the fanciful side. One, I have seen even goes so far to suggest she put foie gras into the omelette.”
Finally, David writes, someone asked Madame herself for her recipe. “I break some good eggs into a bowl, I beat them well, I put in a good piece of butter in the pan. I throw the eggs into it and I shake it constantly.”
What you’ll need:
A good pan, of the right size. Too small and the eggs will be tough on the outside and runny in the middle, too large and they’ll run off and form a pancake. A nine-inch pan is ideal for a classic two or three egg omelette. I own a cast iron pan that is only ever used for eggs, seasoned over the years into a perfect non stick surface, but a good non stick pan, while not everybody’s cup of tea, will keep things simple at the beginning.
There’s no such dispute about the cooking fat, butter being the medium of choice for all concerned. As well as tasting good, the butter serves another purpose. The great Auguste Escof?er described the omelette as “scrambled eggs held together in a coagulated skin”. Consider that the pan must be hot enough to set this skin in a matter of seconds which means the omelette must be cooked fast, or it will be tough. It is also helpful to get your eggs to room temperature before cooking – fridge-cold eggs will take longer to set and result in an overcooked base.
The perfect omelette (serves one)
3 eggs, preferably free range and organic
Salt and pepper
Generous knob of butter (about a tablespoon)
Filling of your choice (optional)
1. Whisk together the eggs until just mixed, season with a pinch of salt.
2. Heat a nine-inch pan over a medium ?ame. Add the butter, swirl and let foam up. When the foam begins to die down, and before the butter turns brown, pour in the eggs. It should sizzle.
3. Shake the pan to distribute the eggs evenly, then leave for 20 seconds until they begin to bubble. If you want to add a ?lling, do so now.
4. Using a wooden spatula, draw in the sides of the eggs to the centre while shaking the pan gently so the liquid gets distributed to the edges again. The omelette is done when still slightly runny in the middle-what the French call ‘baveuse’.
5. Take off the heat, and fold two edges into the middle. Shake the pan so they rolltogether, then tilt it and turn your omelette on to a warm plate (you can tidy it up before serving if you like). Season and eat.
Andreas Duess is Chief Creative at Fisheye Corp, an award winning marketing and advertising firm located in Toronto. If you’d like to geek out with Andreas about food, you can find him on google+, and link to https://plus.google.com/104065741868092906741/about
