Designer John Galliano opened up on Charlie Rose on Tuesday night in the first televised interview since his shameful anti-Semitic rant three years ago. The “I Love Hitler” speech led him to fired from Dior, criminal charges for public insults, and a vocal invitation from the community to leave and never return to the fashion industry.

Galliano turned to Charlie Rose for an emotional extension of his 2011 apology and his recent profile in Vanity Fair. In the lengthy conversation, he confesses combining alcohol and pills, being bullied as a child, and the pressures of his career. Rose replied by saying that the “discussion isn’t about rehabilitation or prosecution. It’s about understanding why.”

READ: Toronto Standard‘s Max Mosher on Galliano’s return to the limelight “John Galliano, Act Two”

Some of Galliano’s attempts to re-integrate into the industry have been squashed: this year, Parsons at the New School offered him and then canceled an opportunity to teach a workshop. Uproar from the community was a major player in the retraction of the position, with students claiming that his violent, racist outburst poses not only a threat to the teachings of tolerance in their diverse student body, but also offends the very broad-minded culture that the artistic community is based on.

Despite this, Galliano pushes forward to move back into the fashion industry and to move on with his life. In the interview, the designer expresses gratitude after being invited to Oscar de la Renta’s fall 2013 collection, saying it is an “amazing feeling that he thought he’d never get back”.

The designer claims to be a changed and “different” man. Watch clips from the interview below:

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Farrah Khaled is an intern at the Toronto Standard. Follow her on twitter at @farkhaly.