Christmas music: when you hear it you either want to revel in palatial memories, or put a grenade in your mouth and pull out the little key thing. My father, for example, possesses an unrivalled hatred for all the jingles and whistles and bells (and a certain song by some high-pitched rodents) that come out right about now. My mother, on the other hand, constantly drinks mulled wine and flits about to Bing Crosby Christmas tunes (when my dad’s not around). At no other time of year does music forge such a dichotomy of opinion.

I’ve been trying to put together an alternative holiday mix for years now, one that I can share with my mom, my dad, and my friends alike. The list usually lacks a concise theme; in the past, I’ve had dancehall getting down with Bruce Springsteen. Two songs have stuck throughout—Joni Mitchell’s “River” and Vince Guaraldi’s “Christmastime Is Here,” two super-obvious genre classics—but I’ve always wondered why musicians I like don’t write more holiday songs. Yes, they’re supposed to be shiny and happy, but why not pull a Morrissey and write a bright-sounding Christmas song with really dark lyrics? Just think: if you successfully write one that gets put into rotation with all the other shiny, happy holiday songs, you get fat annual royalty cheques—and free drugs!

Banjo or Freakout is Alessio Natalizia, an Italian-born, London-based producer of airy, mechanic shoegaze, and he knows what I’m talking about. His record, XA2011, rethinks classic Christmas songs, positioning them in that sonic realm between pretty and unreachable. The album is minimal (read: quiet) enough for my Dad, twinkly and jangley enough for my mum, and indie enough for my friends. Harmony achieved!!!
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Jessica Carroll is the Toronto Standard’s editorial assistant. She’s really pretty and writes a daily column about stuff she thinks is funny/weird on the internet. She tweets at @jssckr.