For a term that means popular, ‘trend’ has a pretty bad reputation. ‘Trend’ calls to mind people’s worst impressions of the fashion industry–the tyrannical dictates of the fashion designer, the arbitrary and unflattering styles declared ‘in’ seemingly on whim, the made-sense-at-the-time outfits that will haunt us as “what was I thinking?” embarrassments in the years to come. Even those who barely follow fashion seem overwhelmed with the frequency and multitude of trends. People only talk about trends in the negative, and then about other people. It brings to mind the old adage about good and bad taste–you have personal style, everyone else follows trends.

I never felt like I followed trends. The only time I was potentially ahead of the curve is when I asked my hairdresser for a faux hawk in 2002. Actually, I didn’t ask for a faux hawk because I don’t think the term existed yet.

“So, you want a Mohawk that looks like it grew out?” the hairdresser asked skeptically.

“Yes.”

It was such a new thing he didn’t do it exactly right, but it ended up good enough.

“You look like a soccer player!” people told me, which was exactly what I wanted.   

In the years since, I never considered myself a ‘trendy’ person. If I happened to buy something that was also in fashion at the time, it was because I liked it. A lot of us believe our sense of style develops in a vacuum, uninfluenced by all the magazines and advertisements we see. We cultivate a healthy sense of distance and skepticism so we don’t feel like pawns of H&M.

So I was a bit shocked by the results of a survey of American women done by CouponCodes4u.com. It found that 59% of women said they seek out trendy items when shopping, and 55% admitted to occasionally purchasing clothing solely because they thought it was in style. Of those, 67% said they never even wore the fashionable item. Why buy something if you don’t like it and you might not wear it? Forty-two percent of women claimed they felt pressure to look on trend, and 39% of those blamed the media.

Here I am, a minor member of the fashion media, and I underestimated the power that fashion magazines and style websites continue to have. As a lycra-wearing arachnid superhero once said, with great power comes great responsibility. Members of the fashion media should be careful what items they write about, and should definitely break their habit of declaring everything ‘in’ all the time. If everything’s stylish, nothing is.

To be honest, I was surprised at how many women admitted to feeling pressure to follow trends. It doesn’t sound like any of my friends, who mostly do their own thing, treating fashion trends like suggestions, not rules. If it reminded me of anyone, it was the women on What Not To Wear declaring with exasperation that following fashion was too much work, which is why they sought refuge in ‘Mom jeans’.

That’s when I realized, when it comes to how people see trends, there’s an age divide. People 30 and younger don’t particularly think about trends because they’re surrounded by enough trendy things that they breathe them in like oxygen. If you read fashion or celebrity magazines, you know that peplums are in. If you go out to bars a lot, you’ve noticed nail art has gotten huge. Even though urban twenty-somethings have busy schedules, their lives are self-focused and they find time to shop. When they do, they have the confidence to buy what they like. What’s on the racks has been influenced by trends, but it’s not something at the top of their minds.

When you’re a bit older, it’s a whole different ballgame. With full-time careers and families, and the suspicion that fashionable clothes are no longer aimed towards them, I can understand older women feeling bewildered with the latest styles. Their lives are less likely to interact with the same subcultures and pop products as younger women so what’s in can seem baffling.

Case in point–when I went to change my hairstyle last year, I didn’t ask for a cut I pictured in my head, one that nobody had seen before. No, I asked for a fade on the sides and a quiff on top. Why did I want that? Because I saw the same look on younger men, and I assumed it was in style.  

We should always encourage people to develop their own style and have confidence in their personal taste. But unlike pemplums and metallic spikes, the power of trends isn’t going anywhere.