Regarding my last idea, “Take Off Your Backpack, Asshole” post-its, Deborahbrew commented, “I wish you’d think of an easy way to tell people not to clip their nails on the TTC.” Indeed. I was stumped for a while how one could also discreetly (by which I mean ‘anonymously and passive-aggressively’) remind people that whole pizzas, soup, and ribs, all of which I’ve seen being eaten on buses and subways, are not transit-appropriate food.

The answer, I think, is combining and adapting a couple of technologies: the TTC’s own Next Vehicle Information System and the NFL’s “Rat Line” for reporting unruly fans. Right now, it’s only the driver of a TTC vehicle who can trigger the, “Please move to the back of the bus” recordings. But just like you can text a numeric code to the TTC and find out when the next streetcar will arrive at a given stop, you could text a numeric code, specific to each individual vehicle and the offense being committed to trigger a specific recording.

Text 4520201 for: “As a courtesy to other passengers, please refrain from flossing your teeth on this vehicle.”

Text 4520202 for: “As an acknowledgement that you are a civilized human being like your fellow passengers, please put your fucking shoes back on.”

Text 4520203 for: “Your fellow passengers hope that your bag is comfortable taking up that seat.”

If the TTC wants to raise money from sending text messages to riders, this seems like a good place to start. I won’t even ask for a cut, though a free Metropass every now and then wouldn’t hurt.

Ideas Free to a Good Home is a clearinghouse of ideas we’re too lazy to develop ourselves.