I am currently in a problematic situation with my fiance. We have been together for over two years, yet she refuses to watch science-fiction films with me. She despises them and insists on watching realistic films. No 2001. No Bladerunner. No Star Wars. I have tried to express to her that these are meaningful movies for me, but she refuses to listen. Am I being selfish in thinking she should watch them based on the fact that they are such a big part of my life and that she is, essentially, going to marry that part of me? What should I do?

Hello, Huffy Android Lover, call off the engagement.

Just kidding! You certainly are being selfish. You are being as selfish as any Star Wars character that turned to the dark side. That’s very selfish indeed, and you will soon find that whining to your fiance about how she should watch science-fiction films with you is not a turn on.

In the film Indecent Proposal (nominated for seven Razzie awards), Robert Redford offers Woody Harrelson one million dollars to spend a night with Demi Moore. Robert Redford is very handsome, so in my opinion the film’s casting was messy. On the other hand, I’ve spoken to many people who find Woody Harrelson attractive, though I think he resembles a cartoon. I just remembered the point I was trying to make: the idea that Robert Redford has to use money to win a lady over rather than rely on the merit of his own charm makes him seem like a total creep, right?

HAL, do you truly believe you will derive authentic pleasure from convincing your fiance to do something she really doesn’t want to do? Sure, you can probably persuade her to sit with you on your couch to watch Logan’s Run while you cover yourself in popcorn and lick your disgusting fingers clean of butter, but when Michael York comes on screen, she’ll most likely say, “Hey! That’s the guy from Austin Powers! What is it, Bolly? No, it’s Baulty.. no, wait… it’s some kind of spice, I think.” And under your breath you’ll mutter, “annoyed mode engaged!” Knowing you, HAL, you’ll still miss the point and try to explain the ‘cool’ concept of a life clock to her, and any interest she’ll show will be of the feighned sort.

Being a science-fiction lover myself, I understand wanting to share the excitement of getting to know a new alien race with someone, but it’s not healthy to expect your partner to be interested in everything that you enjoy. You probably (maybe) have a few friends who share the same interests as you, so why not invite them over to your own ‘planet party’ one Saturday night and discuss the ridiculousness of the AT-AT design?

Though “man cave” is the worst combination of words I have ever heard, the concept of a partner having his or her own space is a really great one. You may need a space to be alone, put your feet up, and realize your feet are so gross that taking your socks off was a bad idea.

HAL, let me provide you with a little anecdote for perspective: One time, I had a friend who did a pretty good job at convincing a girl that she liked baseball, and they ended up walking around town wearing the exact same hat.

Is that a road you want to go down?

[wufoo username=”torontostandard” formhash=”z7x3k1″ autoresize=”true” height=”456″ header=”show”]

____________

Kirk Heron is Toronto Standard‘s advice columnist. Follow him on Twitter at @ohnowhattodo. 

For more, follow us on Twitter at @TorontoStandard and subscribe to our newsletter.