I just finished reading a great book and I can’t get it out of my head. The characters have become like friends to me, and I feel like we have a history, even more so than some of my actual friends. I literally have a book-shaped hole in my heart (not literally). How do I get over this? And has this ever happened to you?
Sometimes I find it hard to distinguish between the joke emails and the serious ones. This one was especially difficult because it seems so ridiculous while also seeming totally feasible. How subversive! Or is it?
Hello, Reader’s Indigestion, I hope by this time you haven’t literally lost yourself in a book. Let’s address your last question first. For myself, being so immersed in a book that it felt like I was part of it has happened to me… when I was twelve years-old. I have a vivid memory of reading The Hobbit for the first time, and for a while I really wished that I was a part of that universe. I pictured myself leaving the Shire (my parents’ home) and traveling to the lonely mountain (high school), where I hoped I might kiss a girl.
For me, what happened after was what happened to most people: I became a teenager and started to mature. Though I failed to reach my goal of kissing a girl in high school, I did realize that I was able to differentiate between reality and fiction. So, while there was a time two years before that I wanted to be a hobbit that fell into possession of a magic ring, I looked around me and realized the closest alternative would be to hang out with the kid in my class that no one else wanted to hang out with because he was a total weirdo (Gollum).
Assuming that you are an adult, R.I., I would suggest that you simply tell people you ‘really enjoyed’ the book rather than saying you ‘are living’ the book. In our twenties we begin to whittle down our roster of friends. Some of those people in your group of friends who you think are going to be around forever are just looking for excuses to get rid of you, and this sounds like a great reason to, In fact, I couldn’t think of a better reason, stop talking to someone.
Always remember that your history with the real people in your life is much more tangible than your fake history in a book that was written by someone you don’t know.
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Kirk Heron is Toronto Standard‘s advice columnist. Follow him on Twitter at @ohnowhattodo.
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